Bizarre Brazil

Belem, sunrise over Amazon region

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This monster weights in at 2,34 Kg (5,15 lbs) and was harvested in April 28 in Boa Vista, state capital of Roraima, one of the Amazonian states, close to the border of French Guyana. The flying distance from the northernmost state capital of Brazil (Boa Vista) to the southernmost one (Porto Alegre) is 3,786km (2,359 mi) comparable to:

Los Angeles (US) - Washington, DC (US) - 3,714 km ( 2,308 mi).

Lisbon (PT) - Moscow (RU) - 3,905 km (2,427 mi).

Quebec (CA) - Vancouver (CA) - 3,785 km (2,352 mi)

Sydney (AU) - Perth (AU) - 3,286 km (2,042 mi)

London (UK) - Jerusalem (IL) - 3,608 km ( 2,242 mi)

Tokyo (JP) - Hanoi (VN) - 3,666 km (2,278 mi)

Brazilian mango fruit on the Guinness - (.br)

An old advertising of cigarettes, back them in the 80’s - in a Modernist style - when smoking was cool.

Somedays ago I wrote a small rant about Porto Alegre, my southern hometown, and about Olinda’s Carnival in comparison with that from Rio de Janeiro. So now it’s time to show some pics from Porto Alegre’s brancaleone Carnival.

Just to contextualize: Porto Alegre (map) is the southern state capital town where the commie World Social Forum - an anti-globalization, anti-Davos Forum, semi-Luddite congregation of all kind of leftists (and the Brazilian LefThieves) - was held from 2001 to 2005. Porto Alegre is also famous for… Well… actually nothing, but don’t tell them or they’ll be very angry at you (sorry, Solon, I can’t resist).

Porto Alegre is not particularly famous by its Carnival, but it’s pretty decent in terms of getting the cheap kind of fun you get in Samba Carnivals, comparing to other places in Brazil. It’s also far more secure then a Samba Carnival in Rio or Sao Paulo, although way small. Bellow you can see some very cool pics of this year’s party.

This is KING MOMO, Carnival’s 4 days despotic monarch.

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Espirito Santo, Vitoria. Metropolitan Cathedral

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Sao Paulo is the heaven in Brazil for this kind of street art. I really don’t like graffiti in a moral basis, but sometimes they can be pretty cool.

Via Manny, pics by ndrC

I love this old flyer from Embraer*. You could put this flyer at the back of you car and let a clear message to the drivers, who think they are pilots and want to surpass you.
Calma. Voar é pra avião. = Slow down. Flying is for planes.

* Brazilian Aircraft Industry

Eros Grau is a lawyer, appointed by the President to the Supreme Court in 2004. He’s also a professor at the University of Sao Paulo and wrote some books on law interpretation and the Constitution. And this week, he became a mocking target for many people in Brasilia due to his first fiction novel (the title can be translated as either “Triangle at the Point” or “Triangle Well Done”, as in a well done beef), which contains some rather (porno)graphic passages.

First it was Monica Bergamo, a columnist at Folha de S. Paulo, who published a couple of highlits from the Minister’s book:

They both entered the house in search of something. Xavier hugged her, joined his body with hers and she felt his taut penis. Took it out and asked her to grab it. It didn’t take more than two or three seconds, grabbed and released, as if touching a red-hot iron - it was, in fact, a red-hot iron. A friend, coming back from her honeymoon, told her that, when it got inside, it was as if that went, through her, ’till her throat.
(…)
He told that, when entering the sauna, the day before, she was there, naked, as if waiting for him. “A little hooker”, he said again, “a little hooker with small breasts like a partridge”.

Brazil’s most widely read and influential political blogger, journalist Ricardo Noblat, didn’t pass the chance to make fun of the book. First, during a dinner party at senator José Sarney’s house, he asked him if he’d read the book. The senator, who’s 77 years old, jokingly said he wasn’t of enough age.

Noblat then bought the book, and published some more passages from it at his blog:

[Vânia] had a suction valve for her sex and released loud vaginal farts post coitum. (…) She asked me, while we made love, to make up stories about she being taken by more than one man, concomitantly, two or three ocuppying all her cracks… (pag. 25)
(…)
Opens the fridge to serve her a glass of water and makes a bold comment about a piece of butter, which he takes in one of his hands, and about Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider’s movie; Beth transpires. She is taken by excitement, nipples swollen; the mouth agape. There’s an almost imperceptible muscle movement at the nostrils. Costa comes closer, feels the female’s breathing, she tries to escape, reacts - “this is not right” -, she says, but gives in at the first kiss. Frees herself from her skirt and panties. Costa explores the territory, inspects her pubic hairs, the honey pot, caresses her strait buttocks, moves them apart, experiments with a buttered finger. They do it on the living room, Beth reclined, as if riding on the sofa’s arm, horizontal, permissive. (pag. 94)

The cherry on top came with this post showing “all the imponence and voluptuosity” of the one and only “small breast of a partridge”. It’s things like these that make it hard to disagree with Charles de Gaulle’s assessment that “Brazil’s not a serious country“.

This kind of feast is rare, and has no precise time to happen (this one happened in 1974). One day Takuman, the page (chief of the tribe*) after take care of a sick man who was almost crazy of pain and seeing monstrous women, decided that it was time to provide this special party called Yamurikuma, where only women take part. They sing, dance and fight like man. At the end of the party they all bath at the river. We could say, they become Amazonas** for one day!

* Kamayura tribe (National Park of Xingu, Brazil)
** the legendary Amazon women warriors

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Fortaleza, Ceara. Jangadas: a very plain boat, typical from Northeast of Brazil

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